wondering if I really tried everything I could (OPEN)

[conceded]

WHO: Kondou Isami, possibly you!
WHAT: A lost Shinsengumi commander in a Resistance Army camp
WHERE: Resistance Army camp
WARNING(S): Probably just bucketloads of angst.

[The first confusing thing that Kondou had noticed was that, well- he had woken up at all. Not to mention that on top of it, he had no idea where he was. Whether those that resided in the camp were friend or foe was something that he needed to find out before going any further. The tent he’d woken up in didn’t seem to be guarded, so he cautiously made his way outside to try and see if he could figure out what was going on.

… Which just meant that there was now a very confused man standing in the middle of camp. At the first sight of someone who he could approach for questions, Kondou made his way over.]

Ahh, I’m sorry to bother you with something so trivial, but…

Comments

[hakodate]

[Hijikata knows that as long as they're in this place, reality is fickle.

He's seen some of his men wandering around, clearly from points long in the past that he remembers, if not from a past he doesn't remember at all. He's met other Soujis, another Kondou, people whose lives are uncannily similar to those of the men he already knew, and yet not quite. He's talked to men who died centuries before his time.

He knows that anything is possible here. He knows.

And yet on some level he can't believe what his hearing, and his first instinct is to assume that he's not as awake as he thought he was - because that's a voice he hasn't heard outside of his dreams for months that feel like years, and accepting that he's not imagining it now is almost too overwhelming to consider.

But whether it's real or whether he's just more exhausted than he thought, it's not a voice he can ignore.]

...Kondou-san?

[conceded]

[Hearing a familiar voice has a similar effect on Kondou- after all, the last thing that he remembers clearly is Hijikata pleading with him not to go, that he didn't have to give himself up. His words had rung in Kondou's ears right up until the very end, and yet to see him like this again...

He has to swallow the lump in his throat before turning to see if it's really him. It is, of course it is. The look on his face says it all, that he wasn't expecting to see him alive again. That makes two of them, he supposes.

Despite how he's feeling he can still manage a small smile for his friend, ignoring the storm of emotions that is very quickly threatening to engulf him.]

Toshi? It's been some time, hasn't it?

[He just... needs to know for sure, from his dearest friend.]

[hakodate]

[That smile is like a stab right in the heart. It takes him straight back to that failed escape, to yelling and arguing and begging Kondou to come with them, to fighting to hold back tears as all of his pleas fell on deaf ears, to his shock as Kondou shouted him down...and then the smile that had followed. The last one Hijikata would ever see - or the last one he thought he would ever see, at least.

He hadn't cried when he found out about Kondou's execution, after that; despite his best efforts otherwise, some part of him had known it was coming. He hadn't cried when Heisuke and Sannan died. Hijikata hadn't thought he had tears left, after leaving Kondou behind.

But here he can feel them, coming on again, and his mouth suddenly feels so dry he almost can't get words out of it when he tries to answer.]

...yeah. It has.

[conceded]

[If he remembers - and judging by the look on his face, he must remember - then his sacrifice can't have been in vain. And that makes the pain a little easier to deal with. Unfortunately it's not as though there's much he can say to Hijikata to make him feel any better. Most of the words are sticking in his throat, anyway.

... so instead he reaches out for Hijikata's hand, squeezing it gently. It's warm, and solid-- he's safe. That was all that Kondou had ever wanted to ensure, and now the proof was right here in front of him.

Despite himself, the smile brightens a little more.]

Don't tell me you've been going around frowning like that this whole time.

[hakodate]

[That gentle squeeze is met with a deathgrip - as if Hijikata's afraid that if he lets go, he'll lose him. Again.

(It isn't too far from the truth.)

The tears are still welling up in his eyes, but if there's one person in the world Hijikata can cry in front of, it's Kondou. Kondou is everything to him. He entrusted Kondou with his hopes, his dreams, his ambition. His life.

After all of that, what more is a few tears?

Still, the words are enough to prompt him to try to find a smile - sad, strained, as if it's a physical struggle to remember how to form the expression - but despite that, there's still something genuine in it.]

Haven't been. Can't afford to. Who'd want to follow a commander like that?

[Kondou was always the charisma, the magnetic personality that drew people in. The one people liked. Hijikata was the balance to that, by necessity - the enforcer, the one to make the unpopular decisions, the iron fist behind the velvet glove. The demon. But with Kondou gone, he's felt like half a leader, and the Shinsengumi deserves better than that.

Hijikata doesn't know if he can ever be that. But he's trying.]

[conceded]

[The tears don’t escape Kondou’s notice, though at first he’s not entirely sure what else to do aside from squeeze Hijikata’s hand in turn. Good thing he’s already incredibly reluctant to let go of him, because that expression causes a pang in his chest. He shouldn’t have to force a smile for Kondou’s sake – he shouldn’t be so miserable that it doesn’t come naturally.

(And even a man like Hijikata can smile sometimes. Kondou can vouch for that, even if most of the time it seems to be during moments that they’ve spent together.)

Though he’s still smiling, he can’t help but sigh at Hijikata’s words, shaking his head.]

The men will always follow you, Toshi. Just don’t forget that you don’t have to take on everything by yourself.

[Of course, that’s something that is never going to change, no matter how much he might have wished it. Hijikata had always tried to do everything himself, to ensure the Shinsengumi’s success – and in fact, Kondou’s own as well. If he was successful at that, then what was stopping him from leading the Shinsengumi successfully too?]

Are any of the others here, or are you alone?

[hakodate]

[Happiness feels further off with every person he leaves behind, whether through death or through a simple parting of ways. But that feels like too much to tell Kondou, too much to weigh him down with in a moment like this. Kondou gave up everything so that Hijikata could live.

Hijikata doesn't know how to tell him that no matter how far he's led the men they have left, and no matter that he understands that he can't thoughtlessly spend his life now, for the sake of what remains of the Shinsengumi - despite that, he still looks to the future and he can't see anything for himself, not without Kondou there.]

Souji's here. So is Saitou, and I saw Heisuke around.

[dragonrises]

[SOME TIME LATER...

...Zhao Yun is ever alert even in camp, and a new person he hadn't seen at the banquet wandering around looking lost certainly gets his attention]

Is there something you need?

[conceded]

Ahaha, I'm sorry. I must look foolish wandering around like this.

[He gives Zhao Yun a warm smile, all the same.]

I'm not entirely sure how I found myself here- is there anything that you can tell me?

[dragonrises]

Worry not - we have been taking in many strays, lately. This is one of the main camps for the Resistance Army, those gathering to fight against Orochi. Ah - it is another world, one which continues to pull warriors from across time into it, it seems.

[conceded]

To fight against Orochi...?

[Don't mind him as he raises an eyebrow.]

You mean the Serpent King himself?

[dragonrises]

Yes. You have heard of him?

[he never can tell who gets it and who doesn't, just on sight. This guy seems all right, thought]

He trapped us here originally. We continue to fight against him, in unity. You are welcome in this camp if you wish, or even if you merely need a place to rest.

[conceded]

I have read about him, but nothing more than that.

[To think that a figure from myth was truly here...! It almost seemed like a dream. Perhaps it was, since he too was still here.]

I wouldn't mind joining your cause, but I ... was curious. Are there any men from the Shinsengumi in your camp?

[sadistsword]

[It really had been some time since Souji had seen Kondou. When it had been already become much rarer once they moved to Kyoto, when they started to move around it became even rarer. Well, except for the time they spent together in Osaka Castle.

So of course Souji couldn't hold back a tiny bit of excitement when he saw the commander again, the person he had dedicated his entire life to. There is a small enthusiastic smile on his face before he speaks up in the voice he only uses for Kondou.]

Kondou-san! You're here as well?

[conceded]

Souji...

[He knows that he shouldn't let his emotions get the better of him when he sees Souji there, but it's hard not to. After all, Kondou knows that in giving himself up, he left Souji again. Abandoned him when he had promised that he wouldn't, when he'd done his best to protect him.

He'd failed in all of his duties, hadn't he?

And yet Souji seemed not to remember his passing, which was probably for the better. He had no idea what the news might do to him, and truth be told he didn't want to find out.

So instead he fixes Souji with a warm smile, trying to shove aside all of the other emotions that threaten to overwhelm him.]

I just arrived, as it so happens. Have you been here long?

[sadistsword]

[Since Souji had watched Kondou all the time ever since his childhood, he probably notices easier than anyone if not everything is fine with Kondou. It is perhaps just the way he says his name that seemed a bit off, but still...

Kondou gave him one of his smiles and that was enough to warm Souji's heart. He shakes his head at Kondou's question.]

Not all that long.

[He says that softly, there was no need to worry Kondou unneccessarily.]

Is Kondou-san alright?

[conceded]

Mostly a little confused, but other than that nothing terrible. You'll have to fill me in about this place.

[And there's that smile again. He can't quite help himself, not when Souji's around. There's no point in dwelling on things that he can't change-- things that have already happened.]

[sadistsword]

[He gives Kondou a short insecure look, but nods. Well, if Kondou is around that was good enough for Souji. There wasn't much more he was asking from life (except those other two wishes, but they were all related to Kondou anyways).]

We are fighting Orochi, who has brought people from different times together. Kondou-san will like it! There are many people from the novels you like so much here. And there is also another Kondou-san...

[How do you explain that the girly version of Kondou is running around here... but thinking of her makes Souji stop in his tracks.]

Your shoulder... how is it doing?

[She didn't have any wounds, but that didn't have to be true for this Kondou.]

[conceded]

Another... me? I think that's the strangest thing I've heard since I got here. But how does it work, Souji?

[Since he has no reason to lead him astray in that regard, then it must be true-- but what must have happened to lead up to that? He had so many different questions, and no idea where to start regarding asking them.

Souji's next question caught him off guard, but he tried his best not to think too much about that either.]

It's doing surprisingly well- it took a while for it to get better, but I'm almost as good as new!

[golden_peony]

[Enter this charming young lady, who can't help but think that she really should help out someone, anyone in need. And as he seemed troubled...]

How could I help you, mister?

[conceded]

[ sup, other me. He turns when he hears her voice, a grateful expression on his face. ]

Ah, you see- I think I'm just a little bit lost. So if you had any information to give me, that would be appreciated.

[golden_peony]

[Sup? If it's information he's fishing for:]

You just recently arrived, haven't you? I can't blame you for feeling lost if that's the case.

[She gives him a smile.]

Even though we're still more or less on the same boat, I can at least give you the basic information. We've been brought here from different worlds and different points in time to fight Orochi and any demon spawn that decide to attack. We're in the main camp, so we're fine for the time being.

[Now, for the inevitable follow-up questions, because she's quite sure she just made him feel even MORE lost.]

[conceded]

[ More lost? How did she know? Kondou looks more confused than ever, but he can see that she's willing to answer his questions, which is a big plus. ]

I know of the Serpent King Orochi, but nevertheless I thought it simply a legend... Dare I ask how we were all brought here from different points in time?

[ That seemed to be the most important question to ask first. ]

[golden_peony]

[She'd know, because she herself had to ask after Toshi had tried to explain stuff to her.]

You and me both, mister. It wasn't until I was brought here and saw with my own two eyes what was going on that I had to believe it wasn't just a legend, but the truth.

I'm still a little unclear, but apparently it's through some sort of magic that pulls people from different points in time and bringing them to this world to fight against Orochi.

Or more clearly, Orochi wanted to bring people from all time periods and fight them all at once.

[Again, as Toshi had tried to explain to her. That, and talk of having to fight off demons.]

Does that help you some?

[conceded]

Magic... I'm afraid that is beyond my scope of understanding, but I do understand the need to fight. I can easily commit myself to the cause, if it comes to that, but...

[ There was still a lot that he needed to digest. It was a difficult pill to swallow. ]