let's do the time warp again [semi-open?]

[nayotake]

WHO: Kaguya, Yukimura, and anyone Yukimura recruits to drag back on a trip to the past with him?
WHAT: Going back to Ueda Castle to fix a screw-up.
WHERE: Main camp, to start, then back in time to Ueda.
WARNING(S): nothing yet!



[The main camp is starting to get more full, although there were still plenty of faces missing - but every new arrival is good for morale, even the ones nobody likes, really, because they at least represent a unity of cause that can bring even the most bitter of enemies together, and - maybe Kaguya is just being sentimental, but she at least finds the idea of Shu and Wei, Eastern and Western armies, Dong Zhuo and anybody being able to find common cause to be somewhat inspiring.

Every new arrival also means leads to a few more, as everyone wants to know what they can do to find missing comrades or save dead ones, and so she's been busy - but there's no time to rest, and with everyone else doing everything they can, it's not as though she can do any less.

She's been back from her last trip for a little while now, though, and she's savoring the few moments of downtime before the next inevitable mission.]

Comments

[ex_onslaught851]

[Later on, Yukimura would explain it all to Saitou. He wanted to, though even if he hadn't wanted to, he felt as though he had no choice. Whether or not Saitou wanted to know of his fate in the future, it tied into the explanation of why he was even in this state in the first place.

Grateful that Saitou hadn't protested, Yukimura turned to go and inform the reinforcements what their current plan of attack was. Or rather, their plan to retreat. But that was better than facing the alternative - the possibility that he'd lose his men again, that Saitou would die a second time, and that this time there would be nothing else he could do to stop it.

Everyone is understandably confused at the mention of an escape route, though none are more frustrated than Yukimura himself. If he'd known of its existence beforehand, then he would have been able to prevent everything. But now all he does is wait for everyone to arrive in the keep before they set off together.]

[iaijutsu]

[Even in a state of confusion, nobody could ever accuse Saitou of being inefficient. It doesn't take him long to herd everyone together.

It's perhaps an even more dispirited group than in the original timeline; before, at least there was the honor and pride of a last stand to motivate them. Even if it allows them to leave with their lives, there's little point in denying that retreat does represent failure, of a sort.

But even if they have their pride to worry about, loyalty is also a part of honor, so none disobey, and soon Saitou arrives in the keep with the last few soldiers in tow.]

[ex_onslaught851]

[It's a relief to see that everyone is accounted for - not that there's many of them to begin with. Their safety is the most important issue to Yukimura at current, because if they all get out alive, isn't that what he came all this way back for?]

Hajime-dono... Thank you. I owe you all an explanation, but it would be best if it waited until we were all back at camp. I hope you can forgive me for that.

[He knew he was asking a lot, for all of them to put their faith in him at a time like this. It must have sounded particularly strange coming from him - a Sanada warrior, not wanting to face death head on? It was unheard of. But he hoped that they would forgive him for this.]

[iaijutsu]

There is nothing to forgive, Sanada-dono. We are at your command.

[As strange as it all is, as much as he wants that explanation more than anything else...Saitou trusts Yukimura implicitly; he knows that everyone else in the room must, or none of them would have followed him this far.

They've held out for this long in the face of death. Waiting a little longer for an explanation of his actions now is nothing.]

[ex_onslaught851]

I hope that you will not feel as though that faith was misplaced, when you hear what I have to say. All the same... Thank you.

[The smile he manages is weak, but at least it's something. Yukimura has never considered himself to be much of a leader, but with all of these people putting their faith in him...

Well. It certainly means something, that's for sure.

All in all, the evacuation doesn't take as long as he had suspected it might - then again, all of his men were resilient. Perhaps it shouldn't have surprised him, but exhaustion was very quickly catching up with him. When they all made it to camp, he didn't stop there - with a promise that an explanation would be forthcoming, he organised food and beds for all of his men, and dismissed all of them for the night.

Except for Saitou, for the time being. Because he didn't think that he could rest easy until he'd given him something of an explanation.]

Could I have a moment, Hajime-dono? I am sorry for holding you back.

[iaijutsu]

[If anything, Saitou feels like he ought to be apologizing for taking Yukimura's time; the man looks about ready to keel over.]

By all means, Sanada-dono. It is no bother.

[ex_onslaught851]

I wish to give you a proper explanation as to what happened at Ueda Castle. However... it may not make much sense at first.

[He follows that up with a wry smile. After all, if he hadn't experienced it for himself, he would have believed time travel to be impossible too.]

[iaijutsu]

I do not mind waiting a bit longer, if you would prefer to rest.

[He already has a feeling what the answer to that is going to be, however.]

[ex_onslaught851]

It's quite all right. A little longer won't hurt.

[Though if he does end up passing out, he will apologise.]

I do not think I could rest easily until I had explained it, in any case.

[iaijutsu]

In that case, I must ask that you at least take a seat first.

[ex_onslaught851]

[Saitou pls. Yukimura sighs, knowing fully well that he can't get away with saying no to that one.]

Very well.

[Once he's found a place for them to sit, and someone has brought over some tea for them, (a nice bonus if he does say so himself) he tries to think of where to start.]

You must have wondered how I knew the enemy was so close by, as well as where the reinforcements came from.

[iaijutsu]

I had, yes.

[He pauses to take a long sip of his tea. Exactly what they both needed right now, really...or at least, one on a long list of things they both need right now. You take what you can get.]

...I had also wondered about the blood.

[ex_onslaught851]

[Before he answers all of those questions, Yukimura takes a sip of his tea too. It makes him feel better- enough so that he feels like he can press onwards, at least.]

... I knew the outcome of the battle. I had some assistance in finding out what to expect, but I--

[He sighed, shaking his head. Explaining it all was so complicated.]

I remember fighting the battle. I remember our losses, the fact that the enemy swarmed the walls, that there was no hope of escape. At least, that was what I had thought.

In the end, help did arrive, and some of us were able to withdraw to this very camp. There is a mystic here... who offered to take us back to the past, so that we could save our comrades.

And the blood-- [Suddenly there was a lump in his throat, and he wasn't sure if he could go on. But Saitou deserved to know.]

... it's yours.

[iaijutsu]

[So he had lived through it...and returned to the past to ensure that it didn't happen again?

It's a ludicrous story, and from almost anyone else's lips, he would have said so without thinking - that it was impossible, that it stretched the bounds of believability even in a world as upside-down as the one they had been thrust into...

...but it's Yukimura saying it.

And to Saitou, that makes all the difference in the world.]

Then...

[He can bleed quite a bit and still live to tell the tale, of course. There's little a rasetsu can't come back from. But Yukimura's hesitation, the look on his face when he said that -]

I did not survive.

[It isn't a question.]

[ex_onslaught851]

[Usually Yukimura is a man who guards his emotions, not wanting them to get in the way of his duty. But as he admits all of this to Saitou... his guard is down, his expression crushed. This time, he easily betrays at least some of the pain that he had been feeling due to Saitou's death.]

You did not.

[iaijutsu]

...I see.

[The idea of dying doesn't bother him as it perhaps ought to; he can think of few better ways to go than in battle with a man like Yukimura.

It's the look on Yukimura's face, more than anything, that bothers him. The knowledge that in dying, he managed to cause the man that much grief - it's flattering, in a morbid way, and it's an honor to think that he could have ever had that impact on a man he had never expected to know as anything more than a long-dead example to be emulated, but -

- but he hurt him, however inadvertently.]

I am sorry, Sanada-dono.

[ex_onslaught851]

[The apology startles Yukimura, and his eyes widen in shock. Of all things that he'd been expecting, that wasn't one of them.]

Hajime-dono, why are you apologising...? If anything, I should be the one giving you the apology. After all, it is my fault.

[iaijutsu]

It may be presumptuous of me to say, but...

...I seem to have caused you grief.

[ex_onslaught851]

[He takes a deep breath then. Suddenly all of the things he'd wanted to say to Saitou earlier came rushing back to him, and yet now didn't seem like the right time either, somehow...]

It is not your fault. But I will not deny that it was... difficult to lose you.

[iaijutsu]

[Hearing that is gratifying at the same time that it hurts and he doesn't know how to take it, but somehow his response slips out before he has time to properly consider it.]

...thank you.

[For coming back, yes, and he's sure that's how it will be taken -

- but more than that, his gratitude to Yukimura for caring, for meeting someone like Saitou who is beneath him in every conceivable way and for accepting and respecting him without reservations - it's more than he would have ever dreamed of, let alone expected.]

[ex_onslaught851]

I have done nothing worthy of your thanks. I- I would hope that anyone would do the same, given the opportunity.

[But his true thoughts are betrayed slightly by the waver in his voice. The thought of not having the opportunity to go back and save him isn't even something that he wants to contemplate right now.]

Still... I am glad that I got there in time.

[-- really, that counts for both times. He wouldn't have known what to do if he hadn't seen Saitou before he'd died.]

[iaijutsu]

You have done more than you realize.

[He's not sure Yukimura could ever understand, even if he could find the words to explain - because how does one explain something that deeply affecting? When he found respect for the first time among the Shieikan regulars, it was like a crushing weight was lifted from him, one he'd never even realized the true force of because he'd grown so used to carrying it.

But Yukimura's approval means even more than that. It's respect from one of the greatest examples of a system that has never been kind to him - or to any of them in the Shinsengumi. It's not just a few people proving that there are exceptions to the rule; it's the highest kind of approval he could ever hope to receive.]

I...hope this is not too invasive to ask, but I had also wondered if this was related to your... ["Calling me Hajime." Gosh, it's almost too embarrassing to say out loud. He can't be that direct about it...!]

...to the change in how you have addressed me.

[ex_onslaught851]

[Truth be told, Yukimura hadn't thought about it all that much himself. But when he took a moment to consider what he was saying, Saitou was right... he'd only started calling him that after he'd found him injured. That wasn't all that there was to it either, was there?

Then he remembers that Saitou had called him "Yukimura," too... even if it had only been just the once.]

... I believe so. It- I did not even think consciously about the change, admittedly. But- you too changed how you addressed me. Even if it was only once.

[iaijutsu]

[Only once...

...well, that seemed clear enough, even without the rest spoken. Only once because he hadn't had any time to do it again.]

...I...hope that it was not unwelcome, in that case.

[It's as close as he can bring himself to come to that idea. He couldn't just ask Sanada Yukimura of all people if he could or should call him by his first name again, that - that broke every boundary and every social barrier imaginable.]

[ex_onslaught851]

No, it was not unwelcome. I do not mind... if you wish to continue.

[A pause, as he realises something.] Though I-- I apologise, I should not call you by your first name without asking either.

[Oops. But it felt... comfortable to address him that way, for reasons he was only just slowly beginning to understand.]