let's do the time warp again [semi-open?]

[nayotake]

WHO: Kaguya, Yukimura, and anyone Yukimura recruits to drag back on a trip to the past with him?
WHAT: Going back to Ueda Castle to fix a screw-up.
WHERE: Main camp, to start, then back in time to Ueda.
WARNING(S): nothing yet!



[The main camp is starting to get more full, although there were still plenty of faces missing - but every new arrival is good for morale, even the ones nobody likes, really, because they at least represent a unity of cause that can bring even the most bitter of enemies together, and - maybe Kaguya is just being sentimental, but she at least finds the idea of Shu and Wei, Eastern and Western armies, Dong Zhuo and anybody being able to find common cause to be somewhat inspiring.

Every new arrival also means leads to a few more, as everyone wants to know what they can do to find missing comrades or save dead ones, and so she's been busy - but there's no time to rest, and with everyone else doing everything they can, it's not as though she can do any less.

She's been back from her last trip for a little while now, though, and she's savoring the few moments of downtime before the next inevitable mission.]

Comments

[iaijutsu]

...I see.

[The idea of dying doesn't bother him as it perhaps ought to; he can think of few better ways to go than in battle with a man like Yukimura.

It's the look on Yukimura's face, more than anything, that bothers him. The knowledge that in dying, he managed to cause the man that much grief - it's flattering, in a morbid way, and it's an honor to think that he could have ever had that impact on a man he had never expected to know as anything more than a long-dead example to be emulated, but -

- but he hurt him, however inadvertently.]

I am sorry, Sanada-dono.

[ex_onslaught851]

[The apology startles Yukimura, and his eyes widen in shock. Of all things that he'd been expecting, that wasn't one of them.]

Hajime-dono, why are you apologising...? If anything, I should be the one giving you the apology. After all, it is my fault.

[iaijutsu]

It may be presumptuous of me to say, but...

...I seem to have caused you grief.

[ex_onslaught851]

[He takes a deep breath then. Suddenly all of the things he'd wanted to say to Saitou earlier came rushing back to him, and yet now didn't seem like the right time either, somehow...]

It is not your fault. But I will not deny that it was... difficult to lose you.

[iaijutsu]

[Hearing that is gratifying at the same time that it hurts and he doesn't know how to take it, but somehow his response slips out before he has time to properly consider it.]

...thank you.

[For coming back, yes, and he's sure that's how it will be taken -

- but more than that, his gratitude to Yukimura for caring, for meeting someone like Saitou who is beneath him in every conceivable way and for accepting and respecting him without reservations - it's more than he would have ever dreamed of, let alone expected.]

[ex_onslaught851]

I have done nothing worthy of your thanks. I- I would hope that anyone would do the same, given the opportunity.

[But his true thoughts are betrayed slightly by the waver in his voice. The thought of not having the opportunity to go back and save him isn't even something that he wants to contemplate right now.]

Still... I am glad that I got there in time.

[-- really, that counts for both times. He wouldn't have known what to do if he hadn't seen Saitou before he'd died.]

[iaijutsu]

You have done more than you realize.

[He's not sure Yukimura could ever understand, even if he could find the words to explain - because how does one explain something that deeply affecting? When he found respect for the first time among the Shieikan regulars, it was like a crushing weight was lifted from him, one he'd never even realized the true force of because he'd grown so used to carrying it.

But Yukimura's approval means even more than that. It's respect from one of the greatest examples of a system that has never been kind to him - or to any of them in the Shinsengumi. It's not just a few people proving that there are exceptions to the rule; it's the highest kind of approval he could ever hope to receive.]

I...hope this is not too invasive to ask, but I had also wondered if this was related to your... ["Calling me Hajime." Gosh, it's almost too embarrassing to say out loud. He can't be that direct about it...!]

...to the change in how you have addressed me.

[ex_onslaught851]

[Truth be told, Yukimura hadn't thought about it all that much himself. But when he took a moment to consider what he was saying, Saitou was right... he'd only started calling him that after he'd found him injured. That wasn't all that there was to it either, was there?

Then he remembers that Saitou had called him "Yukimura," too... even if it had only been just the once.]

... I believe so. It- I did not even think consciously about the change, admittedly. But- you too changed how you addressed me. Even if it was only once.

[iaijutsu]

[Only once...

...well, that seemed clear enough, even without the rest spoken. Only once because he hadn't had any time to do it again.]

...I...hope that it was not unwelcome, in that case.

[It's as close as he can bring himself to come to that idea. He couldn't just ask Sanada Yukimura of all people if he could or should call him by his first name again, that - that broke every boundary and every social barrier imaginable.]

[ex_onslaught851]

No, it was not unwelcome. I do not mind... if you wish to continue.

[A pause, as he realises something.] Though I-- I apologise, I should not call you by your first name without asking either.

[Oops. But it felt... comfortable to address him that way, for reasons he was only just slowly beginning to understand.]

[iaijutsu]

You need not apologize, Sa- [No.] ...Yukimura-dono.

I...am honored that you would wish to address me that way.

[ex_onslaught851]

[He thinks he could get used to hearing Saitou address him in that way. It earns a small smile from Yukimura.]

... then I hope that you will accept my gratitude, instead.

[iaijutsu]

I would not dream of doing otherwise.

[Although internally, the thought of having Yukimura's gratitude is still a little overwhelming.]

[ex_onslaught851]

[For the first time in a while, it feels as though a huge weight has been lifted off Yukimura's shoulders.]

You are too kind, Hajime-dono. I hope that you are not simply humoring me.

[iaijutsu]

Not at all...Yukimura-dono.

[He still feels a little hesitant every time he tries to say it. But there's no way to overcome that but to simply plow ahead and do it, right?]

[ex_onslaught851]

[It's only then that he realises something...]

Ah. I apologise, I am sure that I have kept you for long enough. I am sure that you have further questions. I would be happy to answer them in the morning.

[As much as he wants to stay here talking with Saitou, surely the other man has better things to do.]

[iaijutsu]

It is no trouble. If anything, I should apologize for keeping you.

[Not that he wasn't tired himself; none of them had been getting enough rest, with so few people to stand guard and so many points they needed to keep watch over. But Yukimura's level of fatigue was blatantly obvious, no matter how he tried to cover it...

...had he turned right back around and come back for them, without resting first?

There didn't seem to be a tactful way to ask.]

[ex_onslaught851]

Please, you needn't apologise. It doesn't trouble me. I do not think that I could rest knowing that I had not given you a proper explanation.

[That was the least that Saitou deserved, in his mind. Yukimura felt bad that he couldn't properly explain the time travel aspect, but to be honest, he wasn't too sure how it worked himself.]

[iaijutsu]

Now that you have, however, I would not want you to overdo it on my account.

[Which sounds kind of lame as soon as he says it. Yukimura's already overdone it on his account.

...and it's still kind of confusing how warm that makes him feel, even through that nagging sense of guilt.]

[ex_onslaught851]

[That makes him laugh sheepishly.]

It is too late to be worrying about that, I think. But please, do not concern yourself. I will be fine.

[iaijutsu]

[Too late, indeed.

And somehow everything he thinks to say feels inadequate.]

...thank you.

[Again.]

[ex_onslaught851]

[And yet, somehow that still manages to fluster Yukimura.]

... I would gladly do it again, if I had to.

[iaijutsu]

[Saitou's turn to be flustered.]

Yukimura-dono...

[ex_onslaught851]

The fact that I was unable to save you in the first place... It bothered me. More than I could bring myself to admit.

But I hope that... I can protect you better, if the same circumstances arise again.

[iaijutsu]

I am truly grateful.

[And that's accompanied, finally, by a smile - one that might be almost distressingly familiar to Yukimura.]

...although I hope not to put you in such a situation again that it becomes necessary.