fuckingsnakes | wondering if I really tried everything I could (OPEN)

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hakuouki: kondou isami

wondering if I really tried everything I could (OPEN)

WHO: Kondou Isami, possibly you!
WHAT: A lost Shinsengumi commander in a Resistance Army camp
WHERE: Resistance Army camp
WARNING(S): Probably just bucketloads of angst.

[The first confusing thing that Kondou had noticed was that, well- he had woken up at all. Not to mention that on top of it, he had no idea where he was. Whether those that resided in the camp were friend or foe was something that he needed to find out before going any further. The tent he’d woken up in didn’t seem to be guarded, so he cautiously made his way outside to try and see if he could figure out what was going on.

… Which just meant that there was now a very confused man standing in the middle of camp. At the first sight of someone who he could approach for questions, Kondou made his way over.]

Ahh, I’m sorry to bother you with something so trivial, but…

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I suppose not, but I mean in general. It's not that strange to show one's appreciation, is it Souji?

[ It's not that Souji doesn't make Kondou happy-- that's far from it. But in this particular instance, he feels as though he's the one that's failed to keep Souji safe from harm. What happens if he finds out about what happened to him...? ]

O-of course, I will do so. It's better now that you're here to enjoy it with me.

Of course not. It's just like Kondou-san.

[What would happen? An eternal pit of despair and sadness. Plus, he won't leave Kondou too long in death alone.

Souji puts now his best smile on his face for Kondou. There was something wrong about the man he revered so much, but Kondou also said he was alright and Kondou wouldn't lie to him, right?

So instead Souji will try and enjoy every moment he is getting with the commander now and his words did make Souji happy at least. He leans a bit closer to him as he is offering a dango stick.]

Since the tea will take some time to cool down.

I hope that is a good thing, Souji!

[ He can't help but laugh at the comment though, and he happily takes the stick of dango from him. It seemed that not much had changed after all, which was reassuring to him at a time like this. ]

Thank you. I hope that you'll eat plenty as well.

Of course it is.

[Really, there was hardly a thing Kondou could do that would make Souji think badly of him. It won't probably even that, only Kondou's naivety could be faulted - at times.]

If that is what Kondou-san wishes for.

[Of course, eating with the tuberculosis was always a bit iffy, but he didn't want to worry Kondou and he took one of the sticks to start eating.]

W-well... you don't have to push yourself on my account, Souji. I simply wish to make sure that you're well looked after.

[ That had been his goal ever since he'd met Souji when he was younger. There was no chance that he would ever want to change that. ]

Don't worry, Kondou-san. I'm not pushing myself. I'm not a child anymore.

[He turns to look at the commander. Of course the truth was that he was pushing himself for Kondou ever since he has dedicated his life to him. Starting from small silly things like eating things he doesn't even like to please Kondou up to becoming stronger, a blade without any open display of emotions... all was for Kondou's sake.]

I think I know that, deep down... but habits are a little hard to break.

[ He laughs and rubs the back of his neck, looking embarrassed. ] And it's-- been a while, since I saw you last.

[Granted, if Souji thinks about it consciously, it is a bit weird. He moves a little closer to Kondou. Just when exactly did he get taller than the commander? Kondou used to seem so tall to him and back in the day he hadn't even managed to struggle free from the grip that Kondou had on his wrist since Kondou's strength had thrown him off so much.

And now he could put up a decent fight against him, even winning it once in a while.]

That's true, but it can't be helped, right? Since Kondou-san is so busy.

[Kondou was busy... and he was just sick, mostly stuck in bed. He didn't really have the qualification to stand by Kondou's side like that.]

Yes, I suppose that I am, but... I still have time for you, if you wish. You need only say the word, Souji.

[ In the meantime, don't mind if he places a hand on Souji's shoulder, squeezing it gently. ]

[Time for him if he wished... that was kind of a dangerous way to put it. Souji knew he couldn't do that.]

I'm already happy that we are getting to spend together like this, Kondou-san.

[The warmth of Kondou's touch.. it felt like it had been forever. Kondou's warmth and if Kondou needed him, could make use of him, that was enough for Souji to keep going, not to give up just yet no matter what his body was saying.

He gives the other man a content smile.]

Thank you, Kondou-san.

As long as you are happy, Souji, then I am content. Are you warm enough like that?

[ He's already reaching to pull off his jacket again so that he can place it around Souji's shoulders, like he's done so many times before now. Come to think of it, he was looking rather pale... ]

Ah, I'm fine, Kondou-san.

[Though he does love when Kondou is fussing about him. He liked having Kondou's haori over his shoulders as well, Kondou's smell and warmth were so close then. He had kept Kondou's haori in their world as well, putting it around his shoulders whenever he was getting up.]

Will you be alright like this?

Haha, it's fine, Souji! You needn't worry so much about me.

[ Though it was really endearing. ]

Is that really something Kondou-san can say? Considering how much you always worry...

[But he wraps the haori a bit closer around himself. It felt really nice.]

Oh, I suppose it is a little hypocritical of me... Forgive me. I simply wish to make sure that you're safe.

It's alright. That's just like Kondou-san.

[And he leans a little against Kondou's shoulder. Usually, Souji wouldn't be so bold, but... who knew when - or rather- if they ever got to spend time together like that ever again? After all, his life was extremely fleeting. He never knew if he would still wake up the next morning after he went to sleep. ~~And the idea that Kondou would be gone even before him never striked his mind.]~~

[ Don't think for a minute that Kondou minds. He's quick to slide his arm around Souji's waist, and tug him in just a little bit closer. After all, he didn't know how much time that they might have left to them either, so why not make the most of the moment now? ]

[Souji was tempted to ask if this is alright, but Kondou's gesture was saying enough at the moment. Even if he knew that it was a little selfish to do this.]

Kondou-san is warm.

You could stand to be a little warmer, Souji. I'll just have to share with you.

[ He doesn't mind indulging Souji where he can. ]

I think I'm warm enough, Kondou-san.

[With the constant fever and such. But that wasn't like Kondou's warmth, whose presence could just lit up a whole room.]

Oh, are you sure? That's good to hear, Souji. Let me know if you need anything else.

[ after all, he knows that he's not feeling well. ]

Mhm, I'm sure. Thank you, Kondou-san.

[He has sweets here, and Kondou. Two things he absolutely loved. He didn't really need anything else at the moment. One of his hands clutches itself in Kondou's kimono.]

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