Yelling at you is just going to make us both feel like shit.
[He'd done enough yelling before he agreed to leave him. It hadn't changed anything then, and it won't change anything now.
If anything, he just felt worse about it, when it was all over. That he'd lost his temper that badly in the first place, that he'd spent what would've been his last chance to speak to Kondou getting upset at him for - for wanting to save his life?
He sighs.]
...I'm not mad at you, Kondou-san.
[Mad at himself, yes. Mad at the officials who'd met his pleas with deaf ears, the people who he'd needed to help him get leniency for Kondou and who had failed, yes. Mad at the entire goddamned world for putting them in a situation where the only way out was for one of them to die, yes.
But even if he couldn't see it in the heat of the moment, couldn't accept that there was any reason why it should be Kondou to die there rather than him...
He understands what Kondou wanted, now. He'll never agree. He'll never think that Kondou didn't deserve to be the one who walked away.
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[He'd done enough yelling before he agreed to leave him. It hadn't changed anything then, and it won't change anything now.
If anything, he just felt worse about it, when it was all over. That he'd lost his temper that badly in the first place, that he'd spent what would've been his last chance to speak to Kondou getting upset at him for - for wanting to save his life?
He sighs.]
...I'm not mad at you, Kondou-san.
[Mad at himself, yes. Mad at the officials who'd met his pleas with deaf ears, the people who he'd needed to help him get leniency for Kondou and who had failed, yes. Mad at the entire goddamned world for putting them in a situation where the only way out was for one of them to die, yes.
But even if he couldn't see it in the heat of the moment, couldn't accept that there was any reason why it should be Kondou to die there rather than him...
He understands what Kondou wanted, now. He'll never agree. He'll never think that Kondou didn't deserve to be the one who walked away.
But he understands.]