[He looks up from his tea again when he feels that hand on his shoulder, tries to swallow past the lump in his throat.
There are so many things he could say to Kondou - so many things he wants to put into words. About how Kondou is the most important thing in his life, about how he's felt lost since losing him, about how he keeps going because if he dies, the Shinsengumi dies, and Kondou's dream dies with them. About how he keeps going solely for that, about how he's promised that he won't die until the Shinsengumi does...but after that, he just doesn't know.
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There are so many things he could say to Kondou - so many things he wants to put into words. About how Kondou is the most important thing in his life, about how he's felt lost since losing him, about how he keeps going because if he dies, the Shinsengumi dies, and Kondou's dream dies with them. About how he keeps going solely for that, about how he's promised that he won't die until the Shinsengumi does...but after that, he just doesn't know.
He doesn't say any of that.]
Thanks.