[He'd always thought of this kind of thing as something that would only be in the way, a distraction from what he needed to focus on. He had his duty, he had his comrades, and anything more than that would get in the way.
And in a way, he's only realizing now how true that really is. If he had to lay down his life tomorrow, he doesn't want to think about what Yukimura would do when he found out. So even knowing that, and knowing what a conflict of interests he could be setting himself up for - he should be holding back, he should be telling Yukimura to stop there.
But he isn't.
He's just tilting his face up towards Yukimura's and wishing this could last longer.]
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And in a way, he's only realizing now how true that really is. If he had to lay down his life tomorrow, he doesn't want to think about what Yukimura would do when he found out. So even knowing that, and knowing what a conflict of interests he could be setting himself up for - he should be holding back, he should be telling Yukimura to stop there.
But he isn't.
He's just tilting his face up towards Yukimura's and wishing this could last longer.]